I don’t even know where I truly left you or where my new chapter begins. I would say from when I moved to Los Angeles to the present. I have been inconsistent with my brand, blog, and so much more. My creativity come in waves as I got hit with multiple moments of depressive episodes. These episodes came with isolation, negative self-talk, reevaluation, and peace in the chaos.
It’s been a crazy almost two years since moving to LA. I came to LA with a vision of focusing on my brand and really pushing my limits as an entrepreneur. I started to get anxious about money not coming in as strongly as before and went back to a safe job. A job that was toxic & a whole mess but that’s for another story. As I got towards the end of 2022; I started to rebrand & launched my shop with curated gift boxes from women of color-owned small businesses. The seasonal depression started to kick in with the cold & rainy weather in LA from Dec 2022 to March 2023.
Here Comes The Present…
The positive of the new year was that I got a new job. I started to self-isolate as I went through a situationship ending and comparing myself to others. It hit me hard that I wasn’t where I wanted to be spiritually, mentally, physically, and career-wise. I started to have health issues that also played on my mind heavily. One of my biggest things was my weight loss that came from stress & health issues. I had worked so hard when I lived in NYC & during the pandemic to reach my target weight goal. So to see that easily come off put me in a mini depressive episode.
As we got to the beginning of summer 2023, I realized that staying in these depressive episodes was not going to help me achieve any goals that were on my vision board. I started to push myself to focus on a routine with meditation, affirmations, and gratitude in the morning and at night. I’ve definitely seen a difference in my mood. As well as trying to spend more time at my altar & speaking with my spirit guides/ancestors. My biggest thing is being consistent with everything that I do. I’ve realized that if I fall off for one or two days then I’ll stop for weeks.
Consistency & Showing Up For Yourself
The biggest thing that I am pushing myself to do is get back into blogging and adding vlogs to the consistency. I am pushing myself to be vulnerable with you all and show up for you and myself. So many people ask me for different content & I’m going to deliver by the end of the year.
I had to realize that life is still moving but it’s okay to take a pause to find yourself. When you go through a period of rediscovering and shedding; you feel so ready to take on the world. I am proud of myself for the boundaries I created and for pouring into my cup. Here’s to my ego death that helped break me but also continues to build me back up.